Name Change

Not sure how this post will be received but this is our lives and we only get one shot at them. So on the brink of turning 40 I am learning how to live my life without any regrets!

Let me give you some background on how Tetyana kept her birth name. After we saw Tetyana's file we went to her region and met her. She was a beautiful child and we knew when the director asked us after only 15 minutes if we wanted to adopt her that our answer would be yes. It seemed like once we said yes they whisked us out the door with a stack of paperwork. Like many adoptive parents our heads were whirling and our hearts were full. We had found our daughter...the daughter I had dreamed about for years before I even met my husband.

You know the dreams...dressing them up in super cute things, doing their hair, decorating their rooms and as with any child....naming them. Before we left for Ukraine we made a list of names and decided once we saw our daughter we would chose the perfect name for her. But after we left the orphanage we were taken to a notary's office and asked what her name would be. Our facilitator left and told us she would be back in 10 minutes for the name. We felt so confused because our daughter was 7. We wanted to change her name but we also wanted to have a conversation with her about it first. Maybe give her the names we had chosen and let her decide what her American name would be. We were told her name could have been her birth mother's name and possibly not even her true name. We didn't know what to do, so we left her name as it was.

After being with her in her own country once we left the orphanage, I notice we were saying her name completely wrong. Yes we lacked the accent but even if we tried our best we still screwed up our own child's name! She pronounces her name "Tet-chon-na" and we call her "Tet-y-ona". Once we got home we saw that everyone who met her first could not understand her when they asked her her name and then just called her "Tatianna". So everyone butchers her name and always will. We tried to think of a nick name for her but nothing derived from her name sounded right.

On top of that I felt like we missed out as parents on naming her. It was one piece to my lack of attaching to her and making her mine. A good friend and fellow Ukrainian AP suggested once we moved, we change her name to her middle name (which is what we would have chosen for her first). After talking with Drew about this idea, we asked Tetyana how she would feel about using her American name. She was all over it! I have asked her a million times if she is sure and she says yes each time excitedly. So when I filled out her school papers I asked her one more time and told her if I put Sage on the papers we would have to stick to it. She wanted to know when we could start! We are all working on remembering to call her it. Each time we do, she gets a really big smile on her face. Today while playing Sorry! I said "It's Sage's turn." and she had a huge smile on her face and gave me a big squeeze! So our daughters name is now Sage.

Ukrainian Food and Drink

After being home for over a year we finally found a place that sells Ukrainian food. Thanks to our fellow adoptive parents who are my new GA neighbors, The Dove family! We had an appointment in a neighboring town and the market was just one street over.

It was so fun roaming the isles and looking at all of the packaging in Ukrainian or Russian. We were really on a mission for cherry juice. We usually drank the Sandora brand but they didn't have Sandora cherry juice so we got another brand. To Luke's delight they had one of his two favorites...mango juice! We all howled in delight!

There was a Russian woman and her daughter shopping there and they had overheard us talking we told her our daughter was adopted from Ukraine and they naturally asked us if she was a baby when she was adopted. We told them no, that we had only been home a year. The woman hugged T so tight and asked her if she liked America to which T answered a great big yes!

Last night we feasted on perogi's (sp??) and drank our juices. The flavor of the cherry juice took me right back to that tiny apartment where I first tried the yummy stuff!

Third Grade and Summer School

Not sure if I mentioned before that we took the kids to the new school for a tour before they started next year. I explained T's situation to them and they thought she should be placed in her correct grade for her own self esteem. She was nearly a whole head and shoulders taller than her 1st grade peers.

So the new school will follow her current IEP and provide her with an ESL person who will be with her all day AND place her in summer school!!! She isn't exactly thrilled by the summer school idea but it will really help her to transition into the higher grade and give me an idea of what we need to work on for the rest of the summer.

I was really worried about her true age, which we don't know, and being a girl 2 grades lower than she should be. What if she started her period in the 3rd grade? What if she had full breasts and her peers were only just budding? I had a friend in 5th grade who had very large breasts and her life was hell! People dared me to spend the night at her house to see if they were real.

So since they are willing to provide her the support I am willing to put her in her age appropriate grade. I have been working intensly for the last month and her reading skills are coming along and her math skills of the basics are strong. She is willing to learn and work hard. I think this will be a good move for her.

Birds

I guess I reached my photo limit on the last post. Here are the little birds...

Nature Walk

**Nature Path**

I have mentioned before that we have a nature area right across the street from our house. There are several pathways that lead to the pasture and nature walks from various areas of our neighborhood. In the middle the walk it opens up to several huge pasture areas. On our walks the kids have been finding all sorts of yummy treats and beautiful things to look at.

The first find was a honeysuckle plant/bush. Neither Drew or the kids had ever tried it so we began picking and sampling the ends of the flower. Now every time they see the flower they run up and pick the flowers as fast as they can!

***Honeysuckle Flower***

Then the kids came back with these long weed looking things. Luke said Tetyana told him it was onions and they were just munching away on them. I took a better look at them and realized it is garlic! They grow all over the neighborhood and look like weeds! Yesterday they ate so much they stunk! I have told them they couldn't eat anymore for awhile!

***Luke with his garlic***
***Fresh Garlic***

The third thing they found were some berries that look like long raspberries that grow on a tree. I looked them up today and I think they are mulberries (anyone know??). They are almost ripe. I think next week we will find them all ripe and ready to eat. Across from the tree we found blackberry bushes.

I remembered these well from living in Portland. When we first drove through Oregon we saw them on the side of the road and couldn't believe fruit that tasted so good grew wild (we grew up in LA and Las Vegas!). After living in Portland for several years we figured out that blackberry bushes are a pain and are a wild weed you can never get rid of!!!

We found tons of berries that weren't quite ripe yet but in a couple of weeks I think they will be very tasty!

***Mulberry Bush??***

***Blackberry Bush***

When we first moved here it looked like it was snowing all the time because this white stuff was blowing off of the trees. We found the tree that this stuff blows from. Maybe it is a Cottonwood? I told you we grew up in the desert! ;0)

***Snowy Tree***

Yesterday we saw a fawn in the back yard by the creek. We also had a bunch of deer on our property in Portland and thought it was so neat in the beginning until they began eating all of our plants! The kids were very excited to see her though. There is something about seeing wildlife right in your own backyard that is so thrilling!

And the last natur-y thing we have found a lot of is birds! In Orlando we had a nest of baby Cardinals. The father was so beautiful. We have seen several Cardinals here, Blue Jay's and these two tiny little birds who come to our porch each night at dusk. I see them sitting on the roof ledge and fly all over together. I haven't found their nest yet. They are super cute except they poop all night long! We just put a rubber snake up on the ledge and they haven't been back yet.

I can't wait to see what we will find tomorrow in our new backyard!

Totally Fun!

***View from our back yard***

The kids have spent the last 3 days exploring our back yard. We have a creek in the back and right now it isn't very full. They first tried fishing with a walking stick, fishing line and cheese stuck to duct tape! Tetyana has a fishing pole but has absolutely no idea how to use the thing. We have forbidden her to use hooks because we are afraid she is going to take out some one's eye or her own. Next best thing...duct tape! They swear there are fish in there but I've yet to see one!

The second day they got in the freezing cold water and made a slide out of the rocks. The spent hours out there! They were covered in mud but they were really having the time of their lives!

****Creek Slidin'***

***Bridge They Made***
***Vine Swingin'***

Today they worked on covering the rocks with more mud and sliding down even faster! In most spots the water is only up to their ankles. I really hope there isn't anything dangerous in there!

***This is one to frame***

Luke's Cherry Tomato Plant

Before we moved here, Luke and Tetyana went with their God parents to a downtown festival where they had all sorts of plants, fish, a butterfly exhibit and kids stuff. They came home with all kinds of goodies but this cherry tomato plant was the only thing that made it here to Atlanta. Luke has nursed this plant and taken such good care of it. Here is a picture of its first ripe tomato. He and I split the tiny thing and boy was it good!

We were investigating the plant and noticed tons of other little tomatoes that were budding. We are waiting for the four little green ones to ripen up and the four of us will sit down and enjoy them all together. I can't think of one thing in my life that I have grown that I actually ate!

Great job Luke!

Food Issue's

Ok, I have heard from a number of mom's who are saying the same thing as I do about Tetyana and eating. Something just occured to me....what if it is just the freedom of eating when they want instead of being told when and what they are going to eat. When we first came home Tetyana was crazy for button pushing and couldn't control her urge to push buttons anywhere we went. Maybe it is the same with food. Maybe she just wants to eat because she can.

I would hate to ignore a real problem but I don't want to drive myself crazy with worry when it could be nothing...story of a mother's life, isn't it!!!

Follow Up To Food Issues

I have had a couple of comments and emails with some great suggestions and some very scary thoughts. It occurred to me after reading these that I needed to give some more background and have another conversation with T.

First let me describe the transition T has made into our family and into American life. I really can't even call it a transition. It has been so strangely easy. From her perspective it is like she has always been a part of our family we just happened to have picked her up when she was 7 in Ukraine. She has never had sad nights, meltdowns, or times that we thought she was ever unhappy. Everyone makes comments that she is always smiling and happy and seems to not have a care in the world. When we discuss her life in Ukraine she only has happy things to tell us about her family and her time in the orphanage. She had a grandmother whom she adored and lived close by. She lived with her bio family until she was at least 5 so I know her memories are pretty accurate. I have been waiting for this little girl to fall apart and she hasn't. It isn't because she hides her emotions either. She is very open with me about how she feels and sometimes goes a little overboard on the drama! It scares the crap out of me that if we don't resolve this issue it could turn into something bigger when she is older. How can I resolve the issue when I don't have any idea what it is??

If she had any fears it should be abandonment but she is fine. She seems completely attached to us and has never been overly friendly with strangers or even close friends.

We just took her to the doctor and he told us she was 50% for weight and 60% for height so she isn't too thin. I have an extremely high metabolism so I get needing to eat at regular intervals. I eat 3 meals a day, snack in between and usually eat dessert. If she has just had something to eat and someone else is eating she just stares at them like she is starved. It reminds me of a dog begging.

Last night we had a KFC picnic out in our new back yard and I asked Tetyana if she ever went to bed without meals or ever went hungry when she lived with her family. She said she didn't and that her grandmother often cooked for them. I asked her if there was ever a time that she didn't have any food in her house and she told me no. I asked her if she sometimes missed meals in the orphanage and she said no and if they wanted more they were allowed to have seconds. I asked her if she ever thought we may run out of food and she said no. So I don't believe that her food issue stems from ever going hungry.

Like Shari commented, maybe it is deficiency in her body. If that is what is driving the issue how long will it take for her body to feel whole? I make sure her diet is very balanced and supplement her with Instant Breakfast at at least 2 meals.

I just can't figure it out....

Food Issues

Anyone out there know when the food issues go away???? The need to constantly eat and hearing "I'm starving!" is going to drive us nuts. Tetyana eats more than both Luke and I at all meals and has 2 snacks in between each meal. She has to have 2 snacks or she is not happy. I understand where it all stems from but we have fed her consistently for over a year and there is always an over stocked pantry and 2 refrigerators full of food.

Thankfully she does not hoard food but she does sneak food. I was out of town for 2 days and she managed to eat 6 packages of Oreo's without Drew knowing plus her regular diet. I have had her screened for parasites and that is not the issue. I honestly don't think she knows when she is full. After she eats an entire chicken breast, a large helping of a vegetable and a large helping of rice and asks for more food saying she is still hungry we don't let her eat more even though she insists she is still hungry. Even if she wants more to eat she can't be hungry, right?

I am very strict about what my kids eat and they rarely get junk. If there is food out that is at all junk like she will take way more than her share and go back for more if nobody is watching. I am afraid of what she does when she goes over to a friends house. I try to feed her before she goes over and let the parent know.

So when do eating issues go away???

Boxes, boxes and more boxes!!

We have made the move to the Atlanta area!! We arrived here on Sunday evening and checked out our new house. We are a very adventurous family! We had never even seen this house before we moved into it. We have been coming up here since last summer and have looked at two communities that are just amazing. We finally settled on the one we liked better and started looking for homes to rent here till we know the area better.

Our house is still for sale in Orlando. Can I tell you how much stress has been relieved from moving from the house? I am a perfectionist and now I don't have to worry about it anymore! It is empty and clean and as funny as it seems people are more receptive to it now that it is empty. They say it looks lighter. There are things I miss from our perfectly designed and decorated house but not having the stress of it outweighs it by 100%.

So the house we are in now is 9000 square feet!! Yes, you read that correctly. Our home in Orlando was 6200 and we thought we had space but man this place is a mansion! The difference is the basement. We are house managing this house. It is something that is becoming quite popular because the housing market is so bad. This house is also for sale and for a heavily discounted rent we will show the house when necessary. There hasn't been a showing here for 8 weeks. Here in the community where we live there are tons of homes for sale in this price range and many of them being new construction so they will most likely sell first.

We are basically unpacked. I have put out about 1/2 of our things just in case the house sells. Here is what I love about the house besides all of the space...it is a little roughed up and has some quirky things going on. The beautiful wood flooring has some scratches. The laundry room used to house the owners dog and he feasted a little on the trim. Not that I would ever let my kids destroy anyone's home, if they make a little scratch I won't lose my mind. That for me is huge! And for the kids...they don't have to listen to me nag all the time about the walls and messes.

The best part about this house is the back yard. The house sits on about an acre. We back up to a creek and a treed area. Here is a picture of what I see when I look out from my seat where I eat.

The picture doesn't do it justice. After it rains the creek is really full and sounds so nice.

I love listening to the birds. There are a couple of little ones that live above the porch. They are in love...they are so sweet to watch. Problem with them is they are making a mess on the front steps. I am going to try a fake snake to get them to move their little rendezvous area. There isn't a nest there so I am not sure why they like to spend the nights up there.

Did I mention how it smells here? It is like jasmine. There is a walking path across the street that leads over the creek and into a huge open meadow. It is so fragrant. The kids and I were sucking on some Honeysuckle. They had never seen it before. There are walking paths like this all over.

I have let the kids stay home from school since the school here let out 2 weeks after our move date. I am still home schooling Tetyana every day. I will post more about that later...They think it is great except they aren't making any friends. Since Luke was an only for so long he depends on having a social network. He is having a bit of stress over this. We plan to get outside each evening and on the weekends to try and attract kids. I am also going to put them in summer camp at the club so they can meet friends their too. I think it will help all of us! ;)

So our new adventure begins. We love exploring new cities and surroundings!