What an interesting day this day was. Since Tetyana and Luke were going to be in Sea World camp this week and her birthday fell on Monday I told Tetyana she could celebrate her birthday on Sunday. She was a little confused when I tried to explain it to her the week before but on Saturday night when I told her she could open her presents the next day she was all for it.
She has been looking forward to her birthday and has been counting down the days for about 55 days. We were looking forward to celebrating her first American birthday with her and thought she would be jumping out of her skin on her day.
As you can see, we piled her presents on the kitchen table and got out the cameras to capture the excitement.....that was our expectation. That is how most children react. It never crossed our minds that she would just walk in and sit down like it was just a regular day. She just sat down and began opening the presents without much emotion. She did warm up as the opening went on.
After I made breakfast and the kids were gone I mentioned her reaction to Drew. He thought she would have been more excited too. As the day went on, she became more and more whiny and sassy. It hit me later on that she did not have a clue how to react. She told us in the orphanage she got a backpack and pencils and there was not a celebration. She said she didn't remember what she got when she lived with her parents. I think she was completely overwhelmed. We have to remind ourselves she may have some times that things are hard for her and not "normal" to her. This is a whole other post....
Since her birthday she has been happily playing with her new toys. She is already planning her birthday list for next year!
6 comments:
Like you, I would've expected a bigger reaction, but your assessment makes sense. She doesn't know how to react.
Leeza tells us they didn't celebrate birthdays at her orphanage. That may be a 4 year old's limited memory, but it may also be true.
I'm glad Tetyana is enjoying all her gifts now.
I believe maybe it was a "normal" reaction for what she is use to having and that it was just another day when she was in the orphanage.
Also remember to level off what you think, feel, or consider as normal - things are not normal for her yet.
Besos!
Happy B-day Tettyana!!
I think I totally get her reaction, now that you rationalized it. I am sure the next b-day will be welcomed with anticipation:)
We have noticed, too, that HG's reactions to getting and giving is so different. They just don't understand it all yet. This story is a little off topic, but close...We were walking through the mall the other day and saw a mother pushing a side-by-side double stroller. Halle Grace started crying because she doesn't have a stroller like that for her dolls. I guess a friend of hers has a double doll stroller. This is unacceptable behavior for our boys, but I had to remind myself that Halle Grace has come from an orphanage where EVERYONE was treated the same, and had the same stuff. If you got extra, it was because you were the most loved... I have to explain all the time that all is not fair and equal all the time. Poor little things - it's all just so different than everything they've ever known!
HG's birthday is next month. It will be interesting to see if her reaction is like Tetyana's. I expect it will be - so I can be ready for it now! :) If I get her that double stroller, will she just expect it now and not be excited? Who knows.
I wonder what things will be like this time next year when they get the hang of things a little more?
J
I also would guess that in the orphanage what was "hers" was only strictly hers for a short while. It isn't long before it is absorbed into the group.
I used to act the same way, except the whiny part, until I watched video of myself and realized that I didn't look very enthused about my gifts and ever since then I have consciously made it a point to look like I feel, grateful!
Happy first American birthday to your sweet T.!
It is so interesting to read all about this. We just came home with four kids and our oldest is an 8 year old girl. We should compare notes. ;)
I must say that they have been on good behavior when opening gifts. I was afraid they would say or do something in front of someone that wasn't polite, but they seem to get the being grateful thing (probably because they are).
I get the strangest reactions from my 6 year old daughter though when she does not like something . If she doesn't care for something on her plate she goes out of her way to tell me how delicious it is in very dramatic fashion. I now sigh to myself when she does it because I know it means she isn't going to touch it. Silly girl.
I must say Tetyana has gorgeous hair! Her glasses look so cute on her too! Happy 8th birthday to her.
Don't know if I even believe this, but I have read before that sometimes adopted children have a hard time on their birthday because they are reflecting on things like their birth family. Not sure if that is something Tetyana would even consider, I can't imagine being 8 and making that connection, but seems like these kids have deeper emotions than I had at their age because of all they have been through. It may sound strange, but you never know so I thought I would pass that on.
:) Krista
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